Jack White “Boarding House Reach” 2018. Third Man Records. I received this about 6 months ago as part of my Third Man Records Vault subscription and honestly I’ve been super-reluctant to write about it because I’d have to sit down and listen to the record and I’ve heard, um, not such great things. Let’s start with the good stuff! It’s a beefy subscription package which included not only a really deluxe issue of the LP but also a 7″ of the demo version of “Infected by Love” b/w the demo of “Why Walk a Dog?” and a hefty Third Man 45 adaptor. Also tucked in to the record sleeve were three special edition prints, taken by David Swanson during Boarding House Reach’s recording session, and three foil-stamped broadsides with the lyrics from “Abulia and Akrasia,” “Ezmerelda Steals the Show” and “Get in the Mind Shaft.”

Now for the actual music. It’s…different. Eclectic. An album Rolling Stone called (generously – it was for their Jack White cover story) “bracingly bonkers.” Funk, gospel, classic rock, electronica, disco, country, some blues (of course), spoken word rants of questionable poetry all kinda tossed into a high-powered blender, weird for weird’s sake. I do like a couple of things: the funk of “Corporation” is totally ass-shaking and the groove and fuzzed guitar on “Over and Over and Over” is pretty great but the (maybe) autotuned gospel backup singers don’t do it for me, at all. But honestly the rest of the record is pretty insufferable.

Pitchfork has a lot to say: “What does he think he’s doing? What does he want us to think he’s doing? All is mystery, except your overwhelming desire to turn away. Boarding House Reach is a long, bewildering slog studded with these moments, which seem to be directly antagonizing you. Deep in the eccentric-hermit stage of his career, with his own successful label and a devoted clutch of fans who will come to see his concerts until their children are in college, White is now free to record and release whatever he pleases. And judging by Boarding House Reach, he wants to noodle to himself in the studio, record spoken-word reminiscences about the first time he played piano in a song titled “Get in the Mind Shaft,” and make the kind of Cheeto-dusted funk instrumentals that the Beastie Boys would have left off of The In Sound From Way Out! What he doesn’t want to do: write any songs at all. The worst part is that he doesn’t even sound like he’s having fun. The few rock songs here, like the lead-off “Connected by Love,” are blowsy, water-logged things, devoid of wit or snap or fire. Usually a good guitar solo will rouse White’s blood, but he doesn’t have many of those up his sleeve here either. Instead, he swamps himself with gospel choirs and organ and even more bongos, and boy, does he ever sound miserable. “Why Walk a Dog” would be a hilarious parody of a mawkish blues ballad—“Are you their master?/Did you buy them at the store?/Did they know they were a cure for you to stop being bored?”—if the sob in White’s voice didn’t convince me he believes every word. What I wouldn’t give for a flash of bright red, something with the verve or conviction of even his slightest Stripes material. On the last two tracks, White finally tips his hand. “What’s Done Is Done” is a goofy country tune that he sings with the right amount of hambone. And “Humoresque” sets to words a scrappy old tune by the 19th-century Czech composer Dvořák, one that generations of little children studying Suzuki violin have scratched out in front of the forced grins of their parents. It’s the only hint of White’s lively mind at work. Sadly, the years have steadily whittled the playfulness from White’s material. His work is now too lumbering and unmoored for anyone to take much pleasure in it.”

Allmusic is slightly kinder, giving White props for being willing to experiment and tear off the garage-blues label saying, “Boarding House Reach is where he expands his horizons and that discipline begins to fracture, and quite intentionally so. “Connected by Love” – the album’s opening track and first single – is a rousing bit of arena rock and the only cut that could truly have appeared on either Blunderbuss or Lazaretto. Once that song draws to a close, White dives into a moody electronic meditation called “Why Walk a Dog?” – an oddity that’s quickly eclipsed by the hard funk of “Corporation,” a song that marks the third different sound in as many tracks. Things get progressively stranger from this point forward. Recitations commingle with raps, gurgling synthesizers tangle with blues piano, operatic overdubs are paired with fuzz guitars, sci-fi send-ups meet their match with short stories. Every moment suggests that White is kicking against the pricks, desperate to be seen as a modern rock artist, not a fusty throwback. While his attempt at redefinition is a success – there’s no question that this is the work of an artist willing to take risks – it’s an open question whether Boarding House Reach succeeds as an album.”