Nirvana “In Utero” released 30 years ago today, September 21, 1993. This edition is the 20th Anniversary Edition (released 9/21/2103), with 3 discs: LP One and Two are the regular album with remastered tracks at 45 rpm, LP Three is a collection of b-sides and bonus tracks.

I purchased In Utero on cd in 1993 (I still have it but not entirely sure where it is at the moment), probably the week of its release. My recollections of that are actually pretty vivid 30 years on: I had very recently moved to Milwaukee to start my first job post-college, was still very into the alternative rock/grunge scene and stoked for the newest Nirvana album. I remember being…disappointed. I don’t think I listened to the cd much after the first couple of weeks and I have not listened to it at all the last three decades. Upon reflection I think that had a lot less to do with Nirvana and In Utero and a lot more about me and where my head was at the fall of ’93, namely I had bigger and more important things on my mind, like navigating the first couple of months of being a “real adult” – paying all my own bills, having a car for the first time, an actual 9 to 5 job, etc. I was uncomfortable and In Utero is an intentionally uncomfortable record.

In Utero, Nirvana’s third and final LP, was produced by Steve Albini and hit #1 in both the US and UK; it is also on many best-of lists for rock/90’s albums. Having given it 30 years of space, I definitely appreciate it a lot more than I did in ’93 but some of it still makes me uncomfortable, especially “Rape Me” which is also, weirdly, one of my favorite songs on the record. The title is obviously triggering and singing along, loudly, is a really terrible idea even though the song is catchy as hell. The track was released as a single in the UK (not in the US where it was semi-banned) and went to #32. Another top pick for me is “Scentless Apprentice” (the guitar riff written by Dave Grohl, not Kurt Cobain, and Kris Novoselic also contributed to the song, making it the only Nirvana track to award writing credits to all three band members); though not released as a single, it ranks among many folks’ top picks for Nirvana songs. I also love the thrashing rocker “Very Ape” and the punk-crazed “Tourette’s” (though it is angular and uncomfortable, too). I find that I am still sick of “Heart-Shaped Box” (#5 UK, #1 US Alternative/Rock chart) and “All Apologies” (both versions: the LP and the MTV Unplugged one which ultimately became more popular than the original: the track went to #45 in the US/#1 on the alternative chart and to #32 in the UK).

The bonus LP is also a bit uncomfortable (mostly because it includes titles like “Moist Vagina” and “I Hate Myself and Want to Die“). The most recognizable track (besides the original mixes of “Heart-Shaped Box” and “All Apologies”) on the disc is “Sappy” (originally titled “Verse Chorus Verse”), originally recorded by Butch Vig in ’90 and then again in ’91. The recording of “Sappy” on this bonus disc is the one recorded by Albini in ’93; it originally  appeared on the 1993 comp No Alternative, an AIDS benefit release. It hit #9 on the US alternative chart in ’94.