White Mystery “Hellion Blender” 2018. Romanus Records, very limited edition sand-filled vinyl. I just received this in yesterday’s mail from the mad-genius over at Romanus, Chris Banta (the return address reads C. Banta: in my head I make the “C” soft, drop the “B” – he’s my vinyl record Santa) and it’s so beautiful and so rockin’ good! White Mystery (who apparently named themselves after an Airheads candy flavor) is a garage punk duo out of Chicago and Hellion Blender is something like their ninth release since forming in 2008. From their Facebook bio: “If you’re a fan of stripped down garage rock, loud drums, and/or redheads, meet your perfect match in White Mystery. Garage-soul spitfires Miss Alex White and Francis Scott Key White are siblings who tour worldwide, earn rave reviews from MTV, VICE, NPR Sound Opinions, Pitchfork – and even model for Levi’s jeans. Born and raised in Chicago, the duo is renowned for high-energy shows, fierce independence, and annual album releases Blood & Venom, People Power, Telepathic, Dubble Dragon and psychedelic film soundtrack, That Was Awesome.”

Their interests include “dancing, partying and playing” and those interests are totally reflected in their newest release. Side A is non-stop grooving: “Boy Next Door” is crunchy, melodic and totally ass-shaking, “Two Flats” is stripped-down to feature Alex White’s clear and awesomely punk-snotty vocals, “Penny Saved” reminds me of the Go-Go’s if they had gone in more of a punk than pop direction, “Paint Yo’Nails” has a darkly sly groove that calls to mind Boss Hog’s Cristina Martinez and Jon Spencer and “Unlucky XIII” features a crazy rap by White Mystery’s Francis Scott Key White. Side B is just as great. “Goody Two Shoes” is nothing like Adam Ant’s, instead it’s a pissed-off woman’s soaring anthem about seeing her asshole ex with his new girlfriend who’s a piece of trash and just got out of prison. “Ghost Signs” is slinky garage-psych and then “White Mystery TV” picks up the tempo to a psychobilly breakneck pace. (Sidenote: the band did have their own TV show on Twitch) Hellion Blender concludes with “Disco Ball” and “Part Deux” which are actually just one music-free, completely deranged William S. Burroughs-esque poem.